Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
