YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
