that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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