she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
