Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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