Whatcha textin bout Willis?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
