3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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