That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
