i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
