Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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