holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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