I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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