So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
