I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yo dont text me then not text me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
