Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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