I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
