and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
