"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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