I accidentally burped into my bong.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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