From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize