I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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