eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
