I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize