Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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