guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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