I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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