i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
