R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
