Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
