Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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