dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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