If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize