i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
