I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
