Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
