He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
