Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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