Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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