Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
