I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
