and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize