He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
