Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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