I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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