I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
then he tried to convert me to islam
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
