She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
