you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
