God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
