I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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