i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
