so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just want nice things and good sex
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
