Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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