Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
