you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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