omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
time to smoke my breakfast
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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