Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We need to rekindle our bromance
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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