You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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