Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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