Small penises have feelings too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's shark week go big or go home
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i out mim tonsoeep
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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