Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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