The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
