I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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