Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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