I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
