Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
