your room smells of hookers.
And success
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
